Wednesday 31 October 2007

Rapid round aint around but who knows

hehehe.....
wudnt meena be proud!!

well a short period of peace at work, a first and hopefully not the last.
I guess as usual I've got something to get of my chest.
Ever had a time in ur life when you wanted something so bad, you scared yourself about how badly you wanted it.

For the first time in my life, my fear of myslef has led me to cease to function as myself.
and for those of you who haven't got a clue what I'm on about, Its the ice melt...
Spring! is in the air and christmas is around the corner, and I'm feeling guilty of dismissing that
great season of cheer for a commercial racket. But now I see how in the dreary mundane existance of the
average office goer, the seasons have such a dramatic impact on the quality of their lives. Many a time when
I dismissed my parents attempts at cheering me up wid their christmas spirit, for mere corporate slavery, I now regret having
fallen victim to the burden of the same yoke.

But there is now something better, something greater, a feeling that transcends anything and everything I have ever felt before.
Its exhilariting, its enthralling, its captivating and yet its driving me nuts............

what can I say, I'm not insane...... but definitely mad.... :(

ah ha!

Isnt it funny how a simple statistic can turn a good day BAD!

I have fallen victim to such a stat. That below average grade point that
distinguished me as a second rate individual has returned to hound me.
Gone were the days were I would be labelled as a number, thought I when I shed
the shackles of blue and white as I shook hands with the the adversary of my youth.
We both sensed a mutual relief, but we also were happy to acknowledge that life was
just a little less mundane in each others cross-hairs. My head-mistress was a woman of
great character and even greater rigidity. She was a woman of tremendous concentration and
few ideas, and was never once pulled away from the cause of the greater good. She led the school
through the most controversial period of its short history, and spending many a afternoon in her company
instilled in me a certain respect and admiration for this woman. But now I'll return to the story of the now and
save the many misadventures of my schooling for a more dreary Sunday afternoon.

Now coming back to the stat! I have just recieved my first appraisal (didnt that word send shivers done your spine).
AH! the irony of it all, leaving behind the high walls of the institution meant to ready us for a life of greatness and opportunity,
and take on the world where many a name was made. Battle ready and trigger happy we were arrayed to charge into an onslaught
and lay seige to our destiny. And alas! there it arose out of the great din of the commercial mayhem, a number that will label me as
nothing but a simple pawn. One day I might be a general, but the road to greatness is a long one, and my reckless charge has cost me
my noble steed and many a good friend. Some to the battle itself, and some to the greatness of their own. But now I am charged as nothing
more than the soldier, I soldier on to redeem myself and have lifted from my neck that yoke of doubt cast upon me by callous protocol of corporate
procedure. But perhaps all I have to help me proceed is the optimists creed and delusionary vision of a megalomaniac to drive me on. Or perhaps
there is a reason more spirited that my hopes have risen in the last 24 hrs....